Old School Dublin Burger
Out of the numerous people that have mentioned Rick’s Burgers to me absolutely no one has apparently ever eaten there sober, let alone during daylight hours. Most of the comments were some variation of “you have to be drunk.” It should be noted that I ate here completely sober, in as much as I am ever truly in that state. Right off the bat I made a big mistake. I ordered a cheeseburger in which the cheese is shredded and almost completely unmelted. It’s the type of cheesing that might be appropriate on a Tex-Mex taco but is completely ill-suited for the tidy and ordered nature of a hamburger. Geometrically even slices are the only thing that makes structural sense on a burger, shredded cheese with no hope of melting is pointless. The type of cheese — a mild Cheddar — also reconfirmed my prejudice against any cheese other than American on burgers. Parodixcally cheese that is fancier than American (pretty much every other cheese) is both too good, and also not good enough.
As mild as the cheddar was at Rick’s it still dominated the palate obscuring the flavor the beef itself. It also mede the whole affair sloppy, spilling out all over the place, the way locals must spill out onto Dame Street after night on the piss and a belly full of Rick’s. The beef itself was cooked through, offered little in the way of juiciness, and even less in terms of beefiness. In its favor it had a prodigious crust, and a pleasing looseness to the patty, the opposite of the prefabbed, tightly bound pucks of fast food chains. The lack of moisture was somewhat buttressed by the slurry of ketchup, mayo, shredded Iceberg and shards of raw cheese. The bun was probably the most impressive thing about Rick’s. It had a nice sponginess and did an admirable, but fruitless job of trying to contain the cheese. It was actually closer texturally to a bap, then a true burger bun, but did the trick. So yes, you should probably be drunk and out of more viable options than Rick’s if you venture here. On the other hand the place does have its charms — Rick’s is like the Galapagos Islands of burger joints, coursing through the modern world through a different evolutionary tract.
Address: 24 Dame St, Dublin, Ireland
Hours: Open ⋅ Closes 3AM ⋅ Reopens 12PM